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I was already reminded once.

[All this reminding, and he's going to start perceiving it as nagging. He's always been good about knowing and clinging to his purpose. That's one thing he's stubborn about and can do.

He pauses, thinking.]

It's not that I ever gave up.

[The point of reminders is that it's something easily forgotten. There's nothing wrong with hearing it more than once, but she's not going to push the issue.]

Then what was it?

[What happened to you...?]

[He stares ahead again. Talking about it doesn't put him on the spot, but it's still a lot to think about in its own way. Whenever he thinks he's done, something happens, and he begins to think more for different reasons.]

I don't know how to describe it. Anyway, it's not important. I know the truth now.

[When he freezes up like that--well, she knows it isn't a good sign. She doesn't feel entirely shut out though, not yet...

So there's that. All she can do is encourage him.]

You can tell me.

You're not the problem.

[He knows Leia well enough by now. The thought of telling her doesn't bother him. Rather, it's finding the right words that's hard. IV looks away, considering, before he sets his sight back front.]

. . . I told you there was an invasion. I was a casualty.

[His words are at first light and reassuring; and then they sink like stones in water, taking down her heart with it. It doesn't fully hit her right away what he truly means, but--

She can see Cline. She can see Agria, Presa, Jiao, and Wingul. She can Julius...

She knows, and she hates it.]

You were a--

[Which is not to say she wants to admit it. Her eyes are wide with shock, and she continues to watch him even though he can't seem to reciprocate.

It's hard to breathe. She doesn't know what to say, and she wants to deny it because he's here and he's real, and yet a lot of gaps are filled in--some she didn't even realize were there.

Things make sense, more or less.]

No... No way. So at the ball, the reason your clothes were all...

[He nods like he would when discussing anything else. Recalling the moment leaves him quite pensive, but that's all it is - a moment or a page in the long chapter of his story.]

My last memory is of losing.

[And a little after that. It had felt so much like drifting to sleep through intense exhaustion. His right hand tingles at the memory of the excruciating pain. He no longer feels any of it.]

[She looks ahead. It's comforting to focus on something else--something pretty, like flowers. She feels like she understands no why he's doing it.]

Losing.

You mean a duel? But that-- that doesn't mean you had to die!

[It's a game, isn't it?]

In the most duels, it doesn't.

[He looks down, staring at his knees and how the light reflects off the cream-colored material of his pants.]

But this one had everything at stake, and I couldn't change anything.

[Leia's hands gently close into fists as she tries to understand, but she doesn't. Normally, asking the right questions and having that epiphany is a thrill, but she doesn't like this.

It's too hard to tell whether she's actually helping him, or... if she's just hurting him and reopening wounds.

Her voice quiets again to match his after her outburst.]

Was it to stop the invasion?

[As far as IV is concerned, he's merely stating the facts. He has to pause and consider her question, however, because that's where it gets a little less straightforward.]

That was half the reason.

[He's not that selfless. To the contrary, he's selfish.]

[Everyone's allowed to be selfish sometimes. We can't all be do-gooders, as much as it would make life easier. She knows that.

With an answer like that, she'll turn to face him again.]

What about the other half?

Edited 2015-07-06 02:39 (UTC)

To bring my only friend back.

[He doesn't turn to face Leia, much less see the gardens in front of him. He vividly recalls that duel and the circumstances surrounding it. Remembering them reminds him of that distantly regretful feeling again, and he huffs. Jeez.]

Even though he did it to himself, I couldn't stand by and let him do as he pleased. I had to do something.

[IV actually seems less selfish now--if she even thought so at all (she didn't). Without context, she can't really know for sure, but acting on behalf of someone else, with everything at stake... that's selfless.

Even if it was for his own sake, which seems to be what he's implying--it's hard to fault him if his claim is true. "His only friend," a proud champion like him...

She can barely believe it, yet she knows he isn't lying.]

[Her gaze wandered from him without her realizing. She doesn't know how long she's stayed quiet, but she catches sight of him again and feels like she has to do something, too.

Slowly, she stands up from the bench. Still determined, she turns to meet his eyes, a warm and familiar pink.]

[IV blinks at Leia's movement. He cranes his neck to look her in the eye, and his wondering if he's somehow offended her ceases upon seeing that determined expression. It puzzles him, but he keeps his own countenance neutral. Maybe she saw something in the gardens.]

What's the matter?

[She's never hesitated before. Her feet feel like rocks as she moves them, though; she doesn't want to offend him either, but some things are just worth the risk.

She leans in and wraps her arms loosely above his shoulders in a hug, closing her eyes.]

Nothing.

[Everything.]

[Meanwhile, IV's eyes widen. He tenses slightly under Leia's embrace, a tingling sensation washing over his body. He hasn't been held in a long time - too many years to count - and he remembers how much he'd liked being, but this experience is strange. He directs his gaze over Leia's shoulder, his voice quiet and hands limp at his side.]

Hey, Leia . . .

[This is unnecessary. Why is she doing it?]

[If she's honest, she doesn't really want to let go. Not yet. She has too much respect for his boundaries though to ignore the tone in his voice and the way he tenses.

She pulls away, but only enough so that she can see his face again. With her arms outstretched, her hands remain rested on his shoulders, and she even takes a moment to straighten his collar.]

...Sorry.

[Maybe she shouldn't have done that... but it didn't feel bad.]

[It was strange, but he finds himself feeling a familiar lack once Leia pulls away. It's natural to feel bare after an embrace, he knows - and there she goes fixing his collar. He trusts Leia, so her proximity to him doesn't set off warning bells; it's just strange like the hug, which he's only used to receiving from family.

He meets her eyes again, searching.]

Why did you do it?

[She tilts her head, as if to ask him why she needs a reason. Her doubt starts to fade as quickly as it had come, and there's a slow-growing smile on her lips that brightens her face.]

Because... you deserved it, I guess.

[Needed it, more like, but "deserve" sounds better.]

And I wanted to.

[He stares, unblinking, and then gives an explosive huff that resembles a short chuckle. She would reason it that way.]

You really are a strange one.

[And that about wraps this up, so he rises to a stand himself.]

Well, that's enough quiet. I could use some noise now.

[She takes a couple steps back when she notices him standing. Her hands fall back to her sides again and they both seem content to get their blood flowing again, so she has no complaints--not even at being called strange.

She does want to ask him though, before the opportunity disappears completely--in a quiet voice--]

Did your friend come back?

[He's already taken a few steps toward the gardens entrance when he stops at the query. His mind flashes back to what he was told by Rio, and he gives a slow, decisive nod with his back to Leia.]

He did.

[The answer is in a neutral tone, though, if a tad relieved, because it's hard to have feelings for a future he's only heard about. But he's not angry or bitter. It's a good future. And he's here.]

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