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... We all had things to do.

[She doesn't want to get homesick. She doesn't want to think about her mom's cooking, about Jolyne and the others at the newspaper, about Elize, Teepo, Alvin... Rowen.

She shakes her head.]

You too, IV. Don't you have more trophies to win, and... and more titles to earn, things like that?

You still made a place for yourself here, and I think that's really great.

For a while, I thought this was my new place . . . the hell I'd be living in for the rest of my conscious time.

[He gives a breathy, sardonic laugh. To be honest, they all probably have a one-way ticket to Hell: him, III, V. For arguably good intentions, they did terrible things.]

We've all done things. But do I have more to do? . . . I suppose I do.

[It's suddenly hard to look at him, especially when he laughs. He's never heard that before. She doesn't have Athena's special hearing power, but she's certain that everything he's saying sounds bitter and pained.

"Hell" ... she wonders if it's really so bad here.]

I know you do. And those are all reasons to keep going, so... don't talk like Michael's the only one.

[With a little more confidence at that being said, she turns to face him again with determination.]

No matter where you guys are, you have purpose.

Michael's different.

[Probably. He rolls his head the other way to look Leia in the eye. What's coming out his mouth is dramatic, but the delivery is entirely casual; he's long resigned himself to this way of thinking.]

And I know I have a purpose. You don't have to remind me.

That's funny. It feels like I do.

[Her tone is entirely casual as well. Gentle, and not argumentative--though it could be interpreted that way for obvious reasons.

So what if Michael's different? That's how it should be. They still deserved to stay together, and she can't blame him for being upset.]

I was already reminded once.

[All this reminding, and he's going to start perceiving it as nagging. He's always been good about knowing and clinging to his purpose. That's one thing he's stubborn about and can do.

He pauses, thinking.]

It's not that I ever gave up.

[The point of reminders is that it's something easily forgotten. There's nothing wrong with hearing it more than once, but she's not going to push the issue.]

Then what was it?

[What happened to you...?]

[He stares ahead again. Talking about it doesn't put him on the spot, but it's still a lot to think about in its own way. Whenever he thinks he's done, something happens, and he begins to think more for different reasons.]

I don't know how to describe it. Anyway, it's not important. I know the truth now.

[When he freezes up like that--well, she knows it isn't a good sign. She doesn't feel entirely shut out though, not yet...

So there's that. All she can do is encourage him.]

You can tell me.

You're not the problem.

[He knows Leia well enough by now. The thought of telling her doesn't bother him. Rather, it's finding the right words that's hard. IV looks away, considering, before he sets his sight back front.]

. . . I told you there was an invasion. I was a casualty.

[His words are at first light and reassuring; and then they sink like stones in water, taking down her heart with it. It doesn't fully hit her right away what he truly means, but--

She can see Cline. She can see Agria, Presa, Jiao, and Wingul. She can Julius...

She knows, and she hates it.]

You were a--

[Which is not to say she wants to admit it. Her eyes are wide with shock, and she continues to watch him even though he can't seem to reciprocate.

It's hard to breathe. She doesn't know what to say, and she wants to deny it because he's here and he's real, and yet a lot of gaps are filled in--some she didn't even realize were there.

Things make sense, more or less.]

No... No way. So at the ball, the reason your clothes were all...

[He nods like he would when discussing anything else. Recalling the moment leaves him quite pensive, but that's all it is - a moment or a page in the long chapter of his story.]

My last memory is of losing.

[And a little after that. It had felt so much like drifting to sleep through intense exhaustion. His right hand tingles at the memory of the excruciating pain. He no longer feels any of it.]

[She looks ahead. It's comforting to focus on something else--something pretty, like flowers. She feels like she understands no why he's doing it.]

Losing.

You mean a duel? But that-- that doesn't mean you had to die!

[It's a game, isn't it?]

In the most duels, it doesn't.

[He looks down, staring at his knees and how the light reflects off the cream-colored material of his pants.]

But this one had everything at stake, and I couldn't change anything.

[Leia's hands gently close into fists as she tries to understand, but she doesn't. Normally, asking the right questions and having that epiphany is a thrill, but she doesn't like this.

It's too hard to tell whether she's actually helping him, or... if she's just hurting him and reopening wounds.

Her voice quiets again to match his after her outburst.]

Was it to stop the invasion?

[As far as IV is concerned, he's merely stating the facts. He has to pause and consider her question, however, because that's where it gets a little less straightforward.]

That was half the reason.

[He's not that selfless. To the contrary, he's selfish.]

[Everyone's allowed to be selfish sometimes. We can't all be do-gooders, as much as it would make life easier. She knows that.

With an answer like that, she'll turn to face him again.]

What about the other half?

Edited 2015-07-06 02:39 (UTC)

To bring my only friend back.

[He doesn't turn to face Leia, much less see the gardens in front of him. He vividly recalls that duel and the circumstances surrounding it. Remembering them reminds him of that distantly regretful feeling again, and he huffs. Jeez.]

Even though he did it to himself, I couldn't stand by and let him do as he pleased. I had to do something.

[IV actually seems less selfish now--if she even thought so at all (she didn't). Without context, she can't really know for sure, but acting on behalf of someone else, with everything at stake... that's selfless.

Even if it was for his own sake, which seems to be what he's implying--it's hard to fault him if his claim is true. "His only friend," a proud champion like him...

She can barely believe it, yet she knows he isn't lying.]

[Her gaze wandered from him without her realizing. She doesn't know how long she's stayed quiet, but she catches sight of him again and feels like she has to do something, too.

Slowly, she stands up from the bench. Still determined, she turns to meet his eyes, a warm and familiar pink.]

[IV blinks at Leia's movement. He cranes his neck to look her in the eye, and his wondering if he's somehow offended her ceases upon seeing that determined expression. It puzzles him, but he keeps his own countenance neutral. Maybe she saw something in the gardens.]

What's the matter?

[She's never hesitated before. Her feet feel like rocks as she moves them, though; she doesn't want to offend him either, but some things are just worth the risk.

She leans in and wraps her arms loosely above his shoulders in a hug, closing her eyes.]

Nothing.

[Everything.]

[Meanwhile, IV's eyes widen. He tenses slightly under Leia's embrace, a tingling sensation washing over his body. He hasn't been held in a long time - too many years to count - and he remembers how much he'd liked being, but this experience is strange. He directs his gaze over Leia's shoulder, his voice quiet and hands limp at his side.]

Hey, Leia . . .

[This is unnecessary. Why is she doing it?]

[If she's honest, she doesn't really want to let go. Not yet. She has too much respect for his boundaries though to ignore the tone in his voice and the way he tenses.

She pulls away, but only enough so that she can see his face again. With her arms outstretched, her hands remain rested on his shoulders, and she even takes a moment to straighten his collar.]

...Sorry.

[Maybe she shouldn't have done that... but it didn't feel bad.]

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